Discordian Calendar 03180

I had a bit of a hard-drive failure this year and have yet to recover fully enough to begin working on new themes. So, instead, I offer some old themes, updated for the new year.


Also, if someone wants to send me a few hundred dollars for data recovery, I’d appreciate it.

Art Star

I feel like this is an incredibly odd effect to come out of wordpad; it completely lacks the typical all-encompassing static.

What am I seeing? The Ghosts of Rainbows Dashed!?

I need a tumblr so I reblog this stuff.

MLP:FiM-Themed 3D Discordian Sacred Chao

For the New Lunar Republic!

Twilight Sparkle

Twilight Sparkle



Rainbow Dash

Rainbow Dash

Pinkie Pie

Pinkie Pie

Princess Luna

Princess Luna






When you’re a Discordian, every hat is a pope hat.

When you’re a Discordian, every pope is a hat pope.

When you’re a Discordian, every hat is a pope.

When you’re an Erisian, every pope is a hat.

When you’re a Jet, you’re a Jet all the way.

When you’re a Marilyn, every hat is a dope hat.

When you’re a stranger, people are strange.

When you’re a Discordian, every pope is a strange hat’s dope Jet.

Sir Samelot

I love this town.

Display a random wallpaper on WinXP

Two files, ImageMagick, and a scheduled task.

Copy the following into files:


'Run random.bat without displaying a window
CreateObject("Wscript.Shell").Run "random.bat", 0, True


@echo off
set img=
set len=0
for /f "delims=" %%a IN ('dir /b /s *.png') do (
set /a len+=1
if %len%==0 goto :END
set /a idx=%random% %% %len%
for /f "skip=%idx% delims=" %%a IN ('dir /b /s *.png') do (
set img=%%a
goto :BRK
IMconvert "%img%" bmp3:random.bmp
RUNDLL32.EXE user32.dll,UpdatePerUserSystemParameters 

Note: As you can see above, I renamed convert to IMconvert because of a well-known naming conflict.

  1. Place those two files in, I don’t know, maybe MyDocs/MyPics/Wallpapers or where ever.
  2. Add all kinds of PNG images to the folder from step one. Sub-folders are welcome.
  3. Run random.bat or random.vbs once to produce random.bmp.
  4. Set your wallpaper to random.bmp.
  5. In the Control Panel, you’ll find Scheduled Tasks. Make a new one and set it to random.vbs. Play around with the options for the task. I have mine set for logon, system idle, and at fixed times throughout the day.

That’s it. Enjoy!

The Gospel According to Joey Rash

Eris laughed. Eris cried. Eris sang the body electric. Eris wiped Her ass with the written and grinned like a ninny at the spoken. Eris went low-carb-high-as-a-kite. Eris bakes NP-hard candy, grills recursive sausage, and snacks on Turing-complete bacon–avacado dip. Eris walked into a bar with a neolithic e-primate, a paleolithic freemason, and a hollow senior citizen. Eris illuminated a hypertext manuscript and hid it in Plato’s cave. Eris founded a for-profit corporate prophet. Eris employs twenty-three thousand gophers. Eris renders saturated cash. Eris’s name takes itself in vain. Eris believes in the Goddess of What but not the Goddess of Who. Eris assembles Her own furniture from the bones of priests and the screws of newlyweds. Eris double-dog dared herself to eat the whole thing.

Eris wrote a wordless gospel and instructed us to ignore it. Eris never wrote anything because She never developed Her illiteracy skills. Eris invented language for the lulz. Eris enjoys the silence, enplays the noise, and enrides the sound waves. Eris lost weight, found height, and returned depth. Eris’s cholesterol brings all the boys to the yard. Eris prescribes statins to post-zenpunk pre-zinesters. Eris televised the revolution. Eris made Episode Seven using a green screen, a blue man group, and a yellow polka-dot bikini. Eris grants no refuge to the incompetent, the helpless, the miserable; they find no sanctuary in Her arms, no superiority, no soothing to their macerated egos; She will set them among their peers.

This one time, at band camp, Eris made an outdated pop-culture reference; this other time, Eris shoved the Earth up Her pussy. Eris deletes Doctor Who torrents. Eris ground his bones to make Her bread. Eris ships Jenny Everywhere with Her OC, Holly Hopdrive. Eris wore Her sunglasses at night. Eris said “what” again. Eris moved zig. Eris helped a blind man in a dark room look for a black cat which imagined a butterfly. Eris divided by Nero, multipled by herself, and subtracted the subterranean. Eris crossed the Moebius Strip to get to the other side. Eris found the answer to life, the universe, and everything, and phrased it as a question. Eris appears hideous and beautiful, and reclaimed ugly because fnord you.

Eris struck down upon them with great meh and furious indifference. Eris invested in the economy. Eris socialized the medicines, privatized the nationalisms, and publicized the conspiracy. Eris voted for a half-methemoglobinemiac half-ginger monocular humanitarian alicorn. Eris never sexually-related to that dress. Eris flies planes into buildings for half-price. Eris lit a darkness in the candle. Eris likes a little coffee with Her lard. Eris never counted a calorie. Eris markets individualism to children. Eris performs one-act plays at the community theatre. Eris told his wife he loved her. Eris coveted Her neighbor’s ass. Eris has no intention to ever give you up or let you down. When She thinks about you, Eris touches Herself.

No philosophy withstood Her.